20. Restoring Fellowship


Life is all about learning how to love. God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them. Peacemaking is one of the most important skills you can develop, and also a testimony to unbelievers.

Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict, pretending a problem it doesn't exist, or acting like a doormat.  Sometimes we need to avoid conflict, sometimes we need to create it, and sometimes we need to resolve it. That's why we must pray for the Holy Spirit's continual guidance. 

Biblical steps to restoring fellowship:


  • Talk to God before talking to the person.
    Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God. Discuss the problem with God first; you will often discover that either God changes your heart or he changes the other person without your help.

  • Always take the initiative.
    Whether you are the offender or the offended: God expects you to make the first move. Don't wait for the other party. Schedule a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible. Time heals nothing; it causes hurts to gnaw.

  • Sympathize with their feelings.
    Use your ears more than your mouth. Pay close attention; focus on feelings, not the facts. Feelings are not always true or logical. People don't care what we know until they know we care.

  • Confess your part of the conflict.
    Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation. Since we all have blind spots, you may need to ask a third party to help you evaluate your own actions. Also ask God to show you how much of the problem is your fault.

  • Attack the problem, not the person.
    You cannot fix the problem if you're consumed with fixing the blame. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively.

  • Cooperate as much as possible.
    Peace always has a price tag. Sometimes it costs our pride. Do your best to compromise.

  • Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.
    It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem.


Question to Consider:       
Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?


Verse to Remember:

Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody.

Romans 12:18